Blankfillers

Finally finally finally! My final film of my 3rd year at SVA is up!

celestetv proudly presents: Blankfillers

dedicated to all of us blankfillers out there,

this film has evolved from a very simple piece of thought of mine when I was walking across the street after I got out of the grocery store. I was just walking, with the grocery in my hand, and all of a sudden this stream of confusion went through my brain, and here it is, after months of figuring out and u know, drawing and all that.. here's it ready to be watched!
this is a little piece of my mind and a little celeste philosophy

hope y'all enjoy!

MatroUnivershka- Star Baby

celestetv proudly presents:
MatroUnivershka- Star Baby

Do all of you guys know what Matroshka is?

Matroshka is a Russian toy that you can open them and there's a smaller sized toy in it and you can keep opening it and it gets smaller and smaller till infinity!!
I love the concept of it it's just like a diagram of the infinity of the universe! this film is meant to be played on loop and you'll see why.

enjoy!

MY REEL!!!

celestetv proudly present: MY REEL 2010!!
this is my first reel ever made, and here's a little story about it.

A week ago, our floor manager came and told us that today March 23rd, Google Creative Lab is coming to look at our work, they might offer some gigs, and we ALL NEED to have our Reels done so we can present ourselves in the best manner. and yes us animation kids were all pulling all-nighters, taking a day off of work, even dressing up wearing heels to come to this event.

and they didn't show up,
and they didn't show up.

yup, we couldn't find Google .

it was kinda funny, like a practical joke but on them hahaa I thought that was very unprofessional of them to not have called or do anything, (and we're all waiting to know that they've better got a really really good excuse.) but I'm not that upset, cuz if it wasn't for this event, I would have never gotten my Reel and resume done.

So yeah, maybe this whole big deal about Google is just to get us to finish our Reel.

and in that fashion, it was a very successful event.

so here it goes,
celestetv presents Celeste Lai's 2010 Demo Reel.

enjoy everybody:-)

found

maybe that is the feeling of being found.

or have found something that I myself did not even know that I was searching for.

but I found it, and I am found, too.

it's such a strange feeling, I don't know how to explain but when I found it everything became so clear, just like what mom said, when it is right, things are just easy.

I guess that's right, when it is right it is just simple and easy.

For all these years that I've been searching, turned out that none of that was what I wanted, but I didnt know better cuz I've never known what's right till now, I think I know, cuz this feels right.

I don't care if this is gonna be right in another couple of years, but it feels right right now.

and it feels really amazing to have found, to be found.

since I met the lost kids

I found the lost kids who live with Peter Pan in Neverland.
since I met you,
I feel like I'm a kid again and I mean I've always thought that I'm not an adult.
but since I met you I found the lost kid in me again :-)

and NEVER i never wanna lose her again.

small

I think I'm always trying to connect.
Connecting with people with this big universe we live in.
I think me and my small existence, we enjoy searching for the connections with others.
Maybe it is because of such small existence of mine, I'd crave to connect, and to be part of some bigger experiences.
I like to experience things together, maybe that's one of the big reasons why I like smoking up, or doing stuff like that where u r all experiencing something together

I like blogging.

and I think it's because when I publish a blog it's like me sending out a little signal to the world, telling the world that "hi, I exist, and I care about you, too", "I'm also lost, just like you are so don't feel so alone." and it makes me happy when I know my little existence could be a little companion of some other lost souls, it makes me happy.

I think I'm always trying to find connections.

celestetv presents: Birth and death of Bambi Wall

celestetv presents: Birth and death of Bambi Wall

this is a stop motion documentary of my my wall's deconstruction/construction.
the illustrations on the wall are by me and Kenny Yu.
and we always said we wanna do a collaboration but we never really got a chance to, but here we go,

celestekenny proudly present!

Birth and death of Bambi Wall

this wall had been through many good times and bad times with me, through thick or thin. and from the moment it was built, it had always been there for me.
so there,
I'll always keep a piece of Bambi wall with me. always:-)

you can't see my mouth but I'm smiling :-)

today I went to my old apt and teared down the wall.
during the deconstruction, we had to wear masks. and you couldn't see my mouth,
but I was smiling.
finally the painful divorce is coming to an end.
I mean, now I think back I really think I haven't dealt with this whole thing the best way I could, it was me being spoiled and over reacted...
now I think back
I really would have dealt with this differently but that is "now" when I think back, after gaining this experience I can now think back and know that I could have done better.
that's not all that bad then
so even if you can't see my mouth, I'm smiling.
I took down the wall.

I'm smiling.

+ -

I have a theory:
there are two kinds of people.
one is the +
one is the -
this could sound contradicting to my last post of "types" but it is not,
cuz it's two different mind sets,
and we can be + or - in different occasions.




the + people are the ones who positively know what they want.

the - people are like negative space, they know what they don't want to do. and then that shapes what they want to do. it's like eliminating. it is not a negative thing, negative space in a painting is just as important as the positive space.

well, im both + and - in different areas. but either way if u r the - kind, some of u may feel a lil paranoid or lost, cuz u might think u donno wut u wanna do, but just like I said, negative space! It is just as important is the positive space, it forms the composition, just from a different direction.

and it is just another celeste's theory.

type

I had a dream last night, I don't remember much of it but I think I'm supposed to learn something from it.

I only remember this one line from this girl with a pony tail, I don't remember what we were talking about, I don't remember what she was referring to,
but she said:
That's because you still think that there are "types" of people.

for all this time since I started to have self exploration and discovery, I thought I was pretty open minded person, but now that I think back, I think it is true that I still generalize others, I still draw lines, build boxes and put these people in them, including myself.






I don't know, maybe I've been trying to find my soul mates or those so called missing pieces of myself, somewhere along the line I start to group people into types that are "like me" or "not like me". and generalize them into different types, and sometimes when a person reveals a characteristic of some sort that reminds me of another person's characteristic, I'll make assumptions that they are the same type of people and therefore might hurt me the same way or just deal with things a certain way.

well it is true, all these horoscope readers, sociologist, scientist, psychologist..ect. are trying to find patterns and similarities among us people, because that is just easier and it is true that human have very similar experiences and feelings sometimes cuz, of course, we live in the same world.

I think in order to be open minded I need to be able to see through these boxes and lines, and get rid of all these concepts of types and really be an "expeiencer" to enjoy and experience this colorful world that is full of just special souls.

so yes thank you unknown lady in the dream.

7/29 starry night

I heard that Van Gogh died on July 29th 1890. That is exactly 99 years before I was born.
99 years before the date of my birth, passed away the most beautiful painter. Ended his own life, shot himself in a golden field and died 2 days after by the infection of that bullet he freed himself with.

but I never thought that you were crazy.

your passion may had made you mad, but maybe its because something so beautiful just can't be understood by the blind ones.

but you're not blind.



you were painting with your life, with your soul. Through those brush strokes, I feel it.

I never thought that you were crazy.


But I could tell you Vincent, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

Narwhal

For those who are lost wondering about existence:
while we are still lost and feeling desperate, here's some good news,

NARWHAL!!

this animal is a whale with a golden tusk. and I heard that this is actually where they got the Unicorn idea, even though I think unicorn looks like the way it is cuz that's just how it was born.

Yesterday, a friend of mine told me about this animal, Narwhal! I can't get over the fact that this animal really exist, it is just so absurd and weird that I can't digest what I see. It looks like such a mystical animal that is made up!

So don't be depressed anymore, or desperate, or lost.

There's animals like Narwhal out there! that, I, till this day, did not know that they exist and life IS full of surprises that are waiting to be discovered.

so don't be depressed anymore.

pieces..

i think i do believe that we were all born as broken pieces of something, and we have to find the other pieces back together to see what it is.

so we were all born as a broken piece of something but at the same time, each piece is perfect. and unique...

It's just... why do I feel more broken as I grow up?
I used to feel like I was perfect as if I felt completed just by myself but now that through time maybe people come and go and take away part of my identity and a piece of me who already is just a piece of something else.

maybe we all need to find our pieces back, but at the same time during the journey, to find happiness in acceptance of being little broken pieces.

Let's pretend we don't exist

lately I've been thinking a lot about existence.
It is a strange thing.
it's the relations between me and the universe that really fascinate me.
I've always thought that there was a boarder or some sort of line between me and the world. (maybe by all means, it is our body ) that separates my entity and the world that I'm in.
But I think I have a new understanding...
It really never have been a boarder between me and the universe, it is really all just one entity if anything, the universe is in me. and i am in it. it is easy to say but hard to really have felt that way. luckily I actually had a glance of that feeling this weekend overlooking on my own existence within this infinite universe.

sometimes I felt that all this everything this world and universe is really just inside of me like in my head. but what if we are all just inside of my head? or someone's head?

identity is a strange strange thing.

I also realized that growing up really SUCKS.
It really does, well this weekend I was feeling like 8 again and I fucking built a pillow fort, and hell yeah it was the most awesome feeling ever!
the worst part is that I forgot how much fun it was to build a pillow fort.
how do we forget these things? I don't get it why don't we do these pretending and imagining anymore? I remember I used to just pretend that I was a pirate or something or a princess and just had the time of my life.
but why don't I do that anymore?
does growing up means we just not find those things fun anymore? I mean building a pillow fort was awesome in any ways. maybe when we were little we were not a lot of things, we were just kids and we couldn't do many things but pretending. and now we have much more things that we can do to have fun so we don't just play around pretending that we are something that we are not anymore. But the truth is, WE ARE STILL NOT A LOT OF THINGS. we are still living this small life that we wish to be bigger.

so why not imagine? why not pretend?

let's pretend we don't exist.. let's pretend we're in Antarctica...

paper fish tank 紙魚缸

this is my self portrait assignment, third year.
love love love cut outs! and i love how it recorded the sunlight. i got lucky with that one:-D