Let's pretend we don't exist

lately I've been thinking a lot about existence.
It is a strange thing.
it's the relations between me and the universe that really fascinate me.
I've always thought that there was a boarder or some sort of line between me and the world. (maybe by all means, it is our body ) that separates my entity and the world that I'm in.
But I think I have a new understanding...
It really never have been a boarder between me and the universe, it is really all just one entity if anything, the universe is in me. and i am in it. it is easy to say but hard to really have felt that way. luckily I actually had a glance of that feeling this weekend overlooking on my own existence within this infinite universe.

sometimes I felt that all this everything this world and universe is really just inside of me like in my head. but what if we are all just inside of my head? or someone's head?

identity is a strange strange thing.

I also realized that growing up really SUCKS.
It really does, well this weekend I was feeling like 8 again and I fucking built a pillow fort, and hell yeah it was the most awesome feeling ever!
the worst part is that I forgot how much fun it was to build a pillow fort.
how do we forget these things? I don't get it why don't we do these pretending and imagining anymore? I remember I used to just pretend that I was a pirate or something or a princess and just had the time of my life.
but why don't I do that anymore?
does growing up means we just not find those things fun anymore? I mean building a pillow fort was awesome in any ways. maybe when we were little we were not a lot of things, we were just kids and we couldn't do many things but pretending. and now we have much more things that we can do to have fun so we don't just play around pretending that we are something that we are not anymore. But the truth is, WE ARE STILL NOT A LOT OF THINGS. we are still living this small life that we wish to be bigger.

so why not imagine? why not pretend?

let's pretend we don't exist.. let's pretend we're in Antarctica...